I wanted to be a corporate snob.
I wanted to click-clack my 4-inch heels down marble hallways, shake hands firmly with CEOs as I place just-signed contracts safely in my Birkin work bag and head to happy hour with my downtown cohorts. I would sigh in satisfaction upon sitting down at the bar while reflecting upon the fact that I am absolutely dominating my company's bonus structure to the point of destruction while simultaneously planning my next vacation. Success was sweet.
...the way I dreamt it.
Reality was a bit different. There were 4-inch heels...that wore down to the exposed metal after clomping upon downtown sidewalks everyday. There were marble floors...that often provided slips and skids in my exposed-to-the-metal 4-inch heels. There were business meetings...which prompted anxiety attacks. And there were Happy Hours...my saving grace...spent venting to girlfriends and apologizing for my lack of funding for previously planned weekend trips. This was reality.
As the daughter of a career educator/administrator, working in education never appealed to me. I witnessed first-hand the hard work and long hours required and was told of the legendarily skimpy teacher/coach paychecks. Skimpy wasn't the plan. So, when I decided on a major, Education simply wasn't an option. I ended up choosing Advertising, thinking it would satisfy my need to do something "creative." I stuck with it and never wavered. I landed internships with my university's newspaper and athletic departments which would, no doubt, help earn me the job of my dreams.
Right?
Well...I got jobs. I'd even consider them to be good jobs. Great jobs, in some cases. But, in hindsight, I see that my "dream job"--whatever it was--was unrealistic. Maybe these career dreams got mixed up with my childhood dreams of candy canes and lollipops and shopping sprees and swimming through pools of hundred dollar bills in giant rooms filled with gold. (90's kids say haaaay! Only you will get my Scrooge McDuck reference...) I see now that my expectations were definitely skewed. Even still, it was tough when things didn't exactly pan out the way I had hoped.
When my company began layoffs around the time my apartment lease was up, I moved home (12 hours away) out of desperation and hoped to formulate a plan. In my panic about moving home, I stumbled upon an immediate opening as a teaching assistant and accepted the minute it was offered to me over the phone. It was a job. It was a change of scenery. And, besides, how difficult could it be? Kids are so...cute!
I learned quickly--while simultaneously singing, dancing, scrubbing glue off of art tables until my fingernails ached, listening to tales of future birthday parties, sniffing out potential potty accidents, and being vomited on (twice on one occasion), that I had no idea what I was getting myself into upon accepting this job. "Difficult" doesn't begin to describe what teachers face on a daily basis...and the general public has no idea. Granted, I was teaching 3 and 4-year olds out of the gate, so this assignment was a crash course in the life of an educator. But, to the surprise of everyone close to me (and myself)...I came to love it.
Watching students' eyes light up as they suddenly "get it," listening to the amazing (and often hilarious) observations they make, and coaching a child through the very first book they've ever read...those moments began to outweigh the boogers and hissy fits and sucked me in. Big time. I realized eventually that I could no longer care (or pretend to care) about the bottom line, bonus plans, cubicle politics and Starbucks orders. It took me a minute, but I eventually realized that I was never going to be good at a desk job, or a sales job, when the end product--the big picture--was solely about me.
In short, a few snot-nosed kids changed everything for me. Forever blessed and cursed, I often say.
I am now a certified teacher, beginning my first year of teaching in my own classroom this fall. With fourth graders, I doubt I'll be wiping noses as much as I did with my 3 and 4-year olds, but I'm sure there are other..."eccentricities"...to be discovered of this age group. I can't wait. :)
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